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About Varied / Professional Jacqueline Michelle GoertzFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Epilogue



–Anna

I had screamed and screamed, yelling at no one but the sky. My voice echoed, bouncing off the walls of the canyon. The gun that Eric had used was in my hand, pointed upward as if I could kill God himself. I shot the gun a couple of times uselessly.

I was useless. I could never do anything.

But then again, I did kill Eric, the immortal vampire. I had done what I originally wanted, but now I felt empty. If I had kept Eric alive.

No. I couldn't have looked at him again after what he had done to James. Besides, Eric had wanted to die. I wouldn't have been able to live with him.

But another idea occurred to me. If I could kill Eric. . .  I pressed the barrel of the gun against my temple and pulled the trigger.

Of course it didn't work. After a few moments of blissful unawareness, I woke to a throbbing headache.

I went back home. I couldn't take the bodies with me, so I had to leave them there. I couldn't look at them, anyway.

My old home didn't look familiar at all. I almost thought I had come to the wrong place, but the address on the old mailbox was mine. If I glazed over my eyes, I could almost see my childhood home.

I went to the shed, and like I thought there might be, a tank of gasoline sat on the dirty floor. I found a pack of matches and went into the house.

It was cold here. It was cold everywhere. The fire would warm everything up. I went up the stairs and into my room, kicking up clouds of dust and closing the door behind me. This was my home, with no one else.

I dumped the gasoline all around the room, pouring the rest of it over my head. I opened the window. There was a small breeze in the branches of the trees. Hopefully the wind would blow the ashes away.

I didn't want to survive this.

I lit a match and watched the tiny flame burn. Such a small flame. It could easily be blown out. It reminded me of James. This James wasn't going to blow out, though. Not unless he was taking me with him.

I dropped the match.

***

I opened my eyes. "No. NO!" I bolted up from the bed I was lying on.

"Good heavens, Anna! Calm down!" I stared incredulously at Alice, who was sitting right beside me with her knitting spread over her lap. "Good thing we got to you in time. The whole house almost burned down!"

"Where-where am I?"

"You're at my house. Charlie's dealing with the firemen right now."

"No!" I screamed at her, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "Why did you save me!?" My skin was a little pink, but even that was fading away. Things never left a scar on me.

I got up. I had to leave before Alice keeled over on me, too. She was old. It could happen any second. Without saying goodbye, I pushed past her and hurried into the narrow hallway.

"Anna?" I stopped. The voice was familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. "Are you okay?"

I turned around to see little Amy, holding her real dog by the collar in one hand, and her stuffed one in the other. "I was really worried. So was James." The dog barked as though in agreement, but I think it was more from being held at the collar and wanting to be free. He had gotten bigger since the last time I saw him.

Amy smiled. "I knew we'd see each other again." She was such a strange child. I still couldn't say anything. I was looking at her eyes that were so much like James's. "I think it's because I like you so much. You're one of my favorites."

This was James's daughter.

I ran up to her and collapsed to my knees, wrapping my arms around her. Amy let go of the dog, who jumped back in alarm.

James lived inside this little girl. I cried in her red-brown hair, running my fingers through it frantically.

Maybe I could keep going. Even if this little girl would someday die, maybe she'd have children for me to wrap my arms around.

I wanted to live for Amy.

I decided to stay in my big house. My room was ruined, but the house was big enough for me to manage without it. Alice's and Charlie's home was too small for all of us to live comfortably, anyway. They would frequently visit me, though. It was only about five minutes away. I started to get used to their almost-constant company, and look forward to it. Maybe James had changed something in me, but I didn't hate people as much as I used to.

Charlie came with me to look for the bodies. If we found them, I wanted to bury them in a quiet place right next to the property, hidden by trees. Charlie warned me that the chances of them still being there were slim. Any large animal may have gotten into them. I didn't care.

It so happened that Charlie was right. About James, anyway. Eric's body was torn apart, but James' was missing all together. Eric's body had been dead for so long, I guess whatever animal that was here preferred James. It was probably some bear, or maybe a wolf. The irony wasn't lost on me.

I was extremely angry. I wanted to find this creature and shoot it, but Charlie talked me out of it. We didn't need a body to make a grave.

I cried a lot. I spent most of those days feeling sorry for myself. I tried to keep my face dry for Amy, but sometimes I would break down in front of her. She was more understanding than you would expect a six-year-old to be. She would simply hug me and say nothing. I don't think she was ever told why I was so sad. I would tell her eventually when she was old enough. She was going to have to find out I was vampire someday.

The pack moved to their old home when they heard that the threat of vampires were gone. I was amazed that they figured out where I was staying, though I probably shouldn't have been. Werewolves are very good trackers, and I found Dave and Jena at my door one day. Alice was the one that had to tell them about James as I had gone back to my new room to hide, which was smaller than my old one but brighter, more comforting.

Jena told me that the whole pack cried, even Jack. I didn't believe her - I had never seen any of them ever cry before - but she insisted that they did. It was Jena that forced me out of my house to have a good time for once.

I did try. I swear I did. I even laughed a couple of times. Jena tried to flirt with men, and though she was bad at it, it made Dave go into a frenzy. They were all the same, if a little less chaotic. The news of James's death made everyone move a bit slower, and talk a little quieter.

The snow melted into spring. Every day I'd go visit the two graves that sat at the edge of my property. A little farther up the path were the graves of my family. Alice had set it up years ago and I had never known. Sometimes I'd go see them, and I was always alarmed at how little I remembered who they were. I wondered if someday I'd forget James.

But that would never happen. Not when I had Amy.

Most of time I would visit James and Eric. I always brought a black rose for Eric. I thought he'd get a kick out of it. Sometimes I would ask him questions and think about his weird habits. I started to understand what Eric had meant and why he did the things he did. I thought I did before, but it was so clear to me now that he was gone. I didn't have this stress over marrying him, and I could think clearer. I guess Eric wasn't all that bad. A bastard, but not that bad.

James would get a red rose. James's color. Every time I saw the color red, it reminded me of James, and I told him so. I talked to James the most.

Maybe I'd take Amy here some day. She could finally meet her real father again. Sometimes she'd talk about Eric, so I assumed she missed him a little, too. She'd probably like to see him.

I looked up when I heard a twig snap. "Alice? Or is it that you, Charlie?" No one answered me, which I found weird. My hand went to my gun, which out of habit, I still carried around with me. A gun will always be my safety blanket. Even if it never worked on the undead.

I thought I saw a flash of russet between the green leaves. First I thought it might be Amy, but it was much too big.

Than I realized what it was. Of course it was some animal. I was in the woods, after all. Whatever it was, it seemed to be limping.

Great. Just what I needed. A hurt animal around the property while Amy was around. It probably had rabies. I had my gun at the ready, peering around to see if I might catch another glimpse of it.

I heard a low growl and turned my head to the noise. I could just barely see a pair of eyes looking at me through the shadows. A wolf. It had to be.

I didn't want to kill it. I didn't want to kill anything, really, but especially not a wolf. I raised the gun up into the air and shot up into the sky. "GET AWAY! COME ON! GET AWAY FROM HERE!"

It winced and yelped, but it didn't leave. This should have only confirmed that there was something wrong with the animal. Only an animal that was sick wouldn't have run away, and the sick ones were always more dangerous.

But that wasn't what first crossed my mind when I looked into the glowing eyes of the wolf. I was being foolish, I knew, but I was still thinking about something else entirely. I didn't know why I uttered the word, but I did. All reason went against it. If I was thinking at all, I would have gone back to the house and called animal control, but instead I stayed there and spoke that word.

"James?"

Chapter 62



Gone



-Anna

"He's gone."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't believe these idiots left James alone! I bolted to the back door, pushing it open without breaking stride. Outside, there was a small campfire and the snow was marred with foot prints. One set led into the woods. I sprinted after them. "JAMES!" He was not going to get away from me.

I ran and ran, my feet aching slightly. The tracks seemed to go on forever. I didn't know if this was a good thing or not. It meant he was still alive at this point, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to catch up to him. My breath came out in gasps and the pain in my feet suddenly gave way, leaving behind a tingling numbness. Looking down, I saw they were bleeding. It seemed strangely perfect - a vampire's bloody footprints following the trail of mortal ones.

I tripped, and realized I would have to slow down or risk running myself into the ground. Almost against my volition, my steps slowed down into a jog, then staggered into a clumsy walk. I wavered and the forest spun, blackness creeping in around the outermost trees.

I had spent too much energy. I wasn't going to make it.

I fell to the ground, crying out as my hip struck the dirt. I couldn't breathe, and my sobbing was making it worse. My lungs burning, I pushed myself up to my hands and knees. Drool was oozing out of my mouth because I couldn't stop gasping enough to swallow. As I watched it drip to the dirty snow, I saw a pretty red color mixed in with the spit. My lungs were bleeding as well.

I lifted my head and screamed as I pushed my wings out. "JAMES!" I got one leg underneath me and stood. I almost toppled over, but a flap of my wings kept me steady.

Pain was nothing. I had to remember that. Pain was nothing. The only thing that mattered was James.

With strength I didn't know I had, I leapt into the air. I was still lightheaded, and I ran into a few branches, but I kept going.

I had to keep going forward.

–James

I didn't know how long I walked. I sort of zoned out. I didn't mean to go this far, but I guess the farther the better. I didn't even know where I was anymore. If my feet hadn't almost slipped over the edge of a partly-hidden gorge, I probably would have kept going.

Anyway, this looked like a good place.

I peeled the soap off of my badly-made bullet. Damn thing. It didn't seem like it would be that hard to make when the plan was all in my head. Good thing I'd kept Matt's glove, or I would have had a tough time loading the little sucker into the gun.

I hoped this would work. My bullet wasn't the pettiest thing in the world, and I wasn't sure if the gun would go off or not. It hadn't melted nearly as well as I thought it would, and the softened metal was really only compressed to fit the space. I wondered if it was possible for it to get stuck in the gun.

Well, any last words, James?

Hmm.
I scratched my chin as I tried to think of something. I sure did fuck up a lot.

Yes. You sure did, you dirty bastard. Here. You get a nice big fucking F in life.


I nodded my head. Thank you. I'm sure that I deserve it more than anybody else, if I do say so myself. Hmm. Where to shoot myself? How about right in the temple? There's nothing in there, anyway.

Yep. That's a pretty good idea.


I wondered how bad Hell could possible be. I wasn't looking forward to all the fire. Fire hurt. At least Anna was in a better place.

I placed the tip of the gun to my head and closed my eyes.

BAM!

Ow. Oh yeah, that hurt. My brain exploded into a million pieces, and of course the rest of my body screamed at me too. Like that made any sense, but I shouldn't have expected anything less. It had been screaming at me for a while now.

Was I dead yet? Couldn't we just skip the whole dying part and just get to dead? Come on, God! I only asked for that one thing!

I opened my eyes when I thought I heard breathing that wasn't mine. Looking down at me was the most beautiful color of gold that I had ever seen. They blinked and as my eyes focused I saw that they were attached to a beautiful and achingly familiar face.

Anna.

Was it possible that God had sent me to Heaven instead of Hell? Did he just forgive me like that?! I loved God. Oh man, he was awesome. I could kiss the guy! I was so happy, that I was freaking crying. I could feel the tears start to flow down my cheeks. Anna leaned down and gave me the sweetest kiss I'd ever had.

Behind Anna's head I saw the shadow of what looked like wings. So Anna was my angel. I started laughing. The wings looked like they belonged on the back of some demon, which I must say fit Anna way better than white feathers.

She got off of me and glared at me. "GODDAMMIT, JAMES! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING!?"

I winced. "Shh!" I said quickly, pressing a finger to my mouth. "You can't say that about God when you're in Heaven!" The last thing we needed was for both of us to get sent right back down to Hell.

Anna gave me a look as if I was a moron. I was, but that was besides the point.

Then I gaped as Anna's wings fell off her back and onto the ground. "GAH! YOUR WINGS! NOW WE'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO HELL!"

She socked me in the head, and I don't mean she bitch-slapped me or something. It was an actual punch to the head and I saw stars. And, of course, this sent my whole body screaming at me again. Lovely.

Was Heaven like this for other people?

"YOU'RE NOT FREAKING DEAD, JAMES!"

"But - !"

"SHUT UP OR I'LL KEEP BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU UNTIL YOU BELIEVE ME!"

I gaped at her for another moment. It occurred to me that maybe this was Hell. I mean, what could be more of a punishment than getting beat up by the loved one you had wronged?

"Get up!" I did so in a hurry. We mustn't displease the punisher.

She looked at me almost tenderly. "You are such a dumbass." She flung her arms around me with surprising force. I blinked and tried to put my arms around her, but I was too dazed.

I was having a hell of a hard time trying to figure out if this was Hell or Heaven. Dammit, I just swore! Oh, there I go again! "Didn't you at least check to make sure I was really dead before you ran off to commit suicide!?"

Wha?

She dug her nails into me.

"Ow, ow!"

"You can't feel pain if you're freaking dead!"

I pushed her away to meet her gaze. "But-I thought-"

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT! JUST STOP THINKING ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!" She crushed her lips on mine.

Okay. Stop thinking. I could do that. I hoisted her up and she wrapped her limbs around me. I probably shouldn't have done that. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to hold her up, but Anna was always so light.

I tasted blood in my mouth, but I didn't care. I didn't know if it was hers or mine, but who cared? We were immortal then.

My hand went up her back and into a gaping hole in her coat. "Are you wearing anything underneath this coat?" I asked her, pulling my mouth away.

"No," she mumbled before she pressed her mouth into mine again. That crazy little girl. I didn't know what to think about that except on how completely in love with her I was.

I felt something start to give and I had to put her down. She pressed up against me as soon as her feet touched the ground and I continued to kiss her.

Maybe I would have noticed if I wasn't so preoccupied with Anna. I probably would have definitely smelled him, but I was too busy breathing her in.

I heard a muffled footstep in snow, just barely over our heavy breathing. It was instinct more than anything that made me shove Anna away.

BANG!

It didn't really hurt. The sound of it was more painful than the actual bullet entering my body.

I could see Eric only a few feet away from me, gun raised. My vision was going fuzzy fast, though. I couldn't see his expression. His dark hair - usually slicked back - hung in his face.

"JAMES!" Anna's cry seemed far away. I slowly turned my head to see her face. Her hair flew into the air and I realized she was running to me. Everything seemed to be happening so slowly.

I didn't even realize that I was falling.

My knees hit the ground and that was when the new pain shot through my body. I was too shocked to cry out, though. I landed on my side, hitting the ground hard with my shoulder.

Though this hurt, it didn't hurt anywhere near as much as what I'd felt in the past. It was almost soothing. Everything sounded like it was underwater, and things weren't as loud anymore. Quiet.

My body felt numb. The pain was gone.

And when I looked up, I could see Anna's beautiful face. It was alright here.

It was okay.

–Anna

I crashed to my knees beside him, ignoring Eric. "James?! James, keep looking at me!" I pulled the knife out of my pocket, thinking that I needed to cut the bullet out. I couldn't believe I'd let Eric follow me all this time. I should have been more aware of him. Rolling James onto his back, I cut his shirt open to get to the wound faster. A neat little hole lay in the middle of his stomach, but as I looked at it-

That wasn't were most of the blood was coming out. I carefully rolled him over again and saw the ripped-up mess where his lower back had been. He was losing way too much blood.

I turned to Eric. "ERIC! DO SOMETHING!" He looked at me sadly before turning away, crossing the clearing and sitting under a tree. He rested his forehead on his knees.

He was useless. I needed to get some sort of help. Maybe a hospital. They would find out that James was a werewolf, but maybe it was worth it. I got up, but James grabbed onto my coat.

"No . . . please . . . stay. . . ." His voice was so quiet. I knelt back down.

"If I stay, don't fall asleep on me." I ripped off pieces of his bloody shirt and tied it tightly around his middle, but no matter how hard I tried, the blood continued to seep through the fabric. All of James's sweet blood was flowing onto the snow. It soaked into my fingers as I tried to hold it in for him.

I felt warm fingers brush against my cheeks. "Don't cry," James murmured. "At least we're not in Hell."

I choked on a sob. What was he talking about? "I love you," I said. "You're not going to die."

"Love you, too." His eyes were closed and it seemed painful for him to talk. There was only one way for me to save him now.

"Would you want . . . to love me forever?"

"I already love you forever."

"Okay. Okay. Hang in there, then." I leaned over him, my hair hitting his face. I was hesitant about taking any more of James's blood. He had already lost so much, but I had no other choice. I sank my teeth into his neck and took a little - not a lot, just a little.

I ripped myself away and slit my wrist with my knife. "Okay, James, you have to drink this, okay?" He didn't answer. His face was still. "James!" I pressed my wrist to his mouth, his lips slightly parted. The blood dripped out of the corners of his mouth. I put my wrist to my own mouth and sucked hard until my mouth was full of blood. Then I bent down and pressed my mouth against his, pleading for him to swallow. I thought I felt his lips move, maybe a little movement from his throat.

I sat up, watching him. "James?" I patted his face a little, but he did nothing. "No.  Please!" I kissed him, but he did not respond. "Don't leave me!" I sobbed into his bloody neck.

This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to be together, no matter what happened. Dead or alive. That's how it was supposed to happen.

I stopped breathing. The air around me had solidified into ice, and I couldn't move.

But then it broke, sliced through by a sharp, white-hot sword. Air rushed into my lungs like little shards of glass.

I knew whose fault this was.

My vampire.

I clutched my knife, a mixture of both James's and my blood on it.

Eric - the bastard - lifted his head and climbed slowly to his feet, his eyes never leaving my face. He stared at me for a while, then finally spoke. "You're going to have to find your own life now."

I whipped around and stomped over to him.

"You're not mortal, Anna. Not anymore."

I screamed as I thrust the bloody knife into his nonexistent heart. He stumbled forward, surprised, and looked down at my bloody fist clutching the knife inside of him. A smile crossed his face, blood pooling, thick and dark, in the hollow between his teeth and lower lip.

"Werewolf blood. My, you're a clever girl." I twisted the knife deeper into his chest and he gasped, his teeth clenching together hard enough to cause some of the blood to spill down his chin. "I knew you'd figure it out somehow." He clutched at my shoulders, leaning against me. "Thank you, Anna." He kissed my forehead before he let go, leaving a small mark of blood before falling to the ground with a soft thud.

I stepped away from him, sobs wracking through my body. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to hold them in.

I was alone again. Everyone was gone!

I stumbled back to James and fell on top of him, sobbing.

For the first time ever, he felt cold to me.

Chapter 61



To Kill a Wolf



–James

It took forever, but I eventually got my friends to leave me alone. Being an asshole could do that. I sat alone in the bedroom on the chair, eyeing the piercing which I had dropped onto the floor. It was so small, such a small piece of metal.

I could swallow it. It would burn, but maybe the poison would be able to get into my system. I picked it up by its black stone, a wave of nausea churning my stomach. I just had to drop it into my mouth and ignore the dizziness that the stupid thing gave me. Just drop it.

I tilted my head back, closed my eyes and opened my mouth. Suddenly I felt something in my throat catch, and before I could do anything, I doubled over, vomiting up pieces of what was probably Damien, or An–

"James? Are you okay?" Sam opened the door. "Matt told you that you shouldn't be drinking. Don't worry about it. I'll clean it up. Come on, go wipe your face in the bathroom."

I did so wordlessly, walking like a zombie. I went into the bathroom and turned on the sink, watching the water run down the drain.

Dammit!

I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't recognize myself. The image scared me, the monster with the glaring eyes. It wouldn't go down easy. It wouldn't die a slow death. It would fight. To kill it, you had to be quick. You needed to be deadly quick.

I had a gun, but I didn't have any ammo. Where could I get silver bullets?

My eyes landed on the Ivory soap next to the sink.

"Well here's your soap." I gave her the bar. "It's made by Ivory, so it floats!"

I grinned at the memory before grabbing the soap and heading back into the bedroom.

Sam was scrubbing the floor. "You gonna lie down for a while?"

"Naw. Actually, I'm feeling better. I think I might have something to eat." I grabbed the gun, then carefully picked up the piercing that Sam had placed on the dresser. "'Kay?"

"As long as you're not drinking." His eyes met mine, nervous and suspicious. I smiled briefly and looked away until he returned to scrubbing the floor.

"Matt got a ruler?"

His head snapped up again. "What the hell you need a ruler for?"

Whatever. I'd ask Matt. Or maybe I'd just snoop around and find one myself. I went into the kitchen and found a nice big steak knife. I set everything except the knife on the counter, but before I could do anything with it, Matt popped out of nowhere. "What are you doing!?" he demanded, startled by the big knife in my hand.

I ignored his anxiety. "Hey Matt, you got a ruler?"

He seemed to relax. "Why do you want a ruler?"

"I need it for something," I said, inspecting the knife.

Matt grinned. "Say, if you put down that knife I might give you one."

I grinned back at him. "Why, am I making you nervous?" I dropped the knife on the counter loudly.

"Yeah, a little." He left and I picked up the gun, opening it up.

Yeah, it was doable. The shape of the bullets it took were simple enough. Matt came back with the ruler.

"Thanks, man." I took it without looking at him and turned back to the counter. Matt left without saying anything as I cut the soap in half with the knife.

I found a small pot and an even smaller one used for melting fondue and put them over the stove, turning the heat up to high. I pulled out a spoon and pinned the little piercing onto the counter, pulling off the little black stone. I scooped up the silver into the spoon and dropped that into the pot.

It was time to practice my art skills. Shame I'd never done well in any class, and I was especially bad in art.

I don't think I'd concentrated on anything harder in my life. I measured the width and the height of where the bullets would go, making sure to take off a few millimeters so that the bullet would fit, and then I carved the shape into each half of the soap.

It took an impossibly long time for that stupid thing to melt. I sat there and waited. Sometimes I'd poke the silver with a spoon to make it melt faster.

I hated waiting. It gave me time to think, and I hated thinking.

"What're you cooking?" Joey asked with a grin, walking into the kitchen and seating himself on a chair.

"Want it to be you?"

"I see you're your usual self." He paused. "What am I saying? You're not, are you?"

I eyed him, daring him to take this conversation further. I knew I was scaring my friends, and part of me felt bad. They were just worried about me. But another part of me enjoyed the way they avoided my gaze. I liked their fear.

That was me for ya. Sometimes I scared myself. Sometimes I just didn't care.

Joey looked around, as if making sure that the others weren't nearby. "James, you can tell me stuff, you know. Anything I say, the guys aren't going to believe anyway. They wouldn't expect me to know that kind of thing." He looked up at me. "You kill that Eric guy?"

I started laughing. Of all the people that I had killed, Eric miraculously wasn't one of them. "No!" I said between my hoarse laughter. "No, don't worry. No one's after me, either."

Joey let out a relieved laugh. Smiling when it seemed that the tension was gone. "Whatever happened to that girl, then?" he asked playfully. "You nail her or what?"

"Get out." My voice was so harsh, Joey jumped off his chair with a quick "sorry" before running out of the room.

I heard him talking to Matt and Sam, who were crouched around the corner in the living room. "I didn't get anything out of him," he whispered.

I knew they were there. I could smell them.

It soon became apparent that the silver didn't want to melt over an old stove. I took the silver out with a pair of tongs. "Goddammit!" I screamed as I threw both the tongs and the piercing onto the counter. Again I had failed.

No. I was going to melt this thing if it killed me.

I went outside. Matt had a fireplace outside that he used when the weather was nice. I found his shovel in his shed and dug out a space for the fire, clearing out all the leaves and mud that had filled the stone space. Then I went into the woods right outside his yard to get wood. A lot of the wood was wet, so I wound up taking the chair that was in the bedroom, careful to make sure no one saw me. My friends were trying to watch my every move, thinking I had gone mad.

It didn't offend me - I probably had. Maybe it was best they watch me. I didn't want them to, of course, but I was mad. Who could trust my opinion?

I didn't sleep that night. I sat in front of the fire, waiting for the silver to melt. I held it into the fire with the tongs, wearing a glove I found in the shed. Every once in awhile I had to get more wood. I would tie the tongs together so they wouldn't let go of the piercing, and carefully rest them in the fire for the brief time that I went away to get wood. It was long, repetitive, and boring, but I went at it with an obsessive fervor, moving faster than I had in my life. My concentration was focused entirely on the task at hand, refusing to think about anything else, but this boring, complicated procedure. I had a spoon at the ready for when it became liquid enough to drip, my grip on the handle almost strong enough to bend the metal. Then I would put it on the spoon when it was time to hold it in front of the fire. I was pretty sure silver would melt before iron. Once it was soft enough, I'd just put it in the soap mold.

Eventually Matt came out to watch me. "You think you might go to bed sometime?" he asked, leaning against the edge of the fireplace.

"No. I'm going to stay out here." My face was pink from the fire. I felt like I was trying to melt myself rather than the piercing.

"What are you doing, anyway?"

"I'm melting it," I said darkly, as I saw a small bead of liquid metal form.

-Anna

Now that I had decided to go back home to find James, I was struck with another conflict: I had no idea where home was. When the policeman had taken me to Ogdensberg, it was dark, and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I was forced to hitchhike and ask for directions.

I met numerous pervy, lonely, yet kind men who were willing to give me a lift. Each time, I kept my eyes on the road ahead of us and continued to ask if there was any possible way we could go faster. No on asked me to stay with them, my haste was too obvious.

Eventually I made it back to my hometown. I ran down the main street barefoot, realizing that I never did get any shoes, but not caring. I ran to the only place I knew for sure.

The bar.

I barged in, almost falling on my face. It was pretty empty. The morning crowd consisted of a few old men with large drinks and soulless eyes.

I had searched all night and yesterday for James in the woods. I really shouldn't have wasted so much time. I'd known better!

An older man looked up at me from behind the counter. I thought that I might have seen him before. "Have you seen James?!" I blurted out.

He looked at me for another moment. "You're that girl," he said, his brow furrowing.

"BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?!" It was a simple question, with a simple answer. He had to realize how desperate I was. Only an idiot wouldn't have been able to!

His eyes widened, and he tilted away from the counter - away from me. "Ah. Yeah, he's at Matt's house."

"Oh my God, he is?!" I took a deep breath. He was alive. "Can you take me to him?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea to see him? You two didn't break up, did you?"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" I had the feeling that he was being deliberately stupid. However, I closed my eyes and focused on trying to look sane and harmless. "It's of the upmost importance that I see him as soon as possible."

He winced. "Okay, okay. I'll take you there."

We left the bar, and the man seemed to travel at the slowest pace possible. "I hope Matt's home," he said when we arrived at his house and he rang the doorbell.

Something finally went right: Matt was the one to answer the door. His eyes widened when he saw me hovering anxiously behind the old barkeeper. "I remember you," he said, but not very kindly. In fact, his tone was surprisingly cold.

Whatever. As long as he led me to James, he could be as rude as he wanted. "James is here?"

"Yeah. What did you do to him, anyway?"

"What are you talking about?" I demanded, trying to peer around him for a glimpse of James.

Matt saw me, so he reluctantly let me in. The man waved, looking relieved to be rid of me, and started back toward the bar. "He's been acting weird. We fond him unconscious with his knee busted, carrying an empty gun. he won't tell us what happened." I walked into the kitchen, and there was an empty pot on the stove and what looked like might be soap shavings all over the counter. "He tore up my soap," Among the shavings, I found a little black stone. " and he keeps trying to melt that little thing of silver. Is it like some kind of memory of you that he's trying to forget?"

I know that stone. I slip my hand inside my coat and felt my stomach. I could only feel the cool, smooth surface of my skin. The piercing was gone. "Where is he?"

"He's outside by the fireplace. I'll go get him," he said with a sigh, and something he'd said earlier suddenly registered. He had an empty gun? Where did he get that?

The back door flung open, smashing into the wall adjacent to it as Matt burst inside. His expression was worried and accusatory, as though I'd done something wrong.

It seemed to take forever for him to speak. Finally, when I was getting ready to scratch his eyes out, he said, "James. He's gone."

Chapter 60



Home



–Anna

Finding James had never been so stressful. Last time when I was looking for him, I was so scared. I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of what might have happened to him. I was afraid of what may happen in the future. Then, I didn't know anything. I didn't know why James had disappeared.

Now I knew why.

"I . . . can't kill you. Anyone but you. I'd shoot myself dead if you died because of me. I wouldn't be able to live anymore."

He was planning on killing himself.

I was lucky that very few things could kill a werewolf, but there weren't few enough. It would be so easy for James to find silver.

But it wasn't how James would kill himself that I needed to know. It was where he would do it.

Once I was free of Eric, I started to fly out of the city. I was no expert flyer, as you can imagine. To tell the truth, I'd never really liked heights to begin with. I probably wouldn't have been able to fly so high if I wasn't so worried about James. I didn't know where to go, so I flew to the trees. I went the same direction that I'd taken when I had first escaped my vampire home, for no other reason than it was familiar. It had snowed since James had left, covering any tracks that James may have left.

Over the woods, I landed. Well actually I was too afraid to try landing, and as I glided toward a tree branch, I grabbed onto it, almost pulling my arm out of its socket. On the ground, I started running deeper into the woods. "JAMES?!" He'd go into the woods, I knew. His wolf instincts would take him there. "JAMES?!" I started to hyperventilate when I realized how hopeless the situation was.

Where would James go if he were to kill himself!?

Part of me thought that maybe he wouldn't care. He'd do it as soon as he had the chance. He was probably already dead.

No. No, wait. He'd have to find silver first before he killed himself. He couldn't have been able to do it before leaving the vampire home. They didn't use silverware, so it wasn't like he could stab himself with a knife.

I stopped running and stood still, feeling the blood run from my face. But the vampires owned a whole arsenal of werewolf-slaughtering weapons.

No. Eric said James had left there. I should have looked, but I didn't think I would have been able to get by all those vampires.

James would have to figure out somewhere else to get silver. He could get silver anywhere in the city, any of the shops in Ogdensberg, but he wouldn't kill himself in public. Would he?

No, of course not. Someone would probably try to stop him if he did that. It would be much easier for him to do it in the woods. Yes. Choosing the woods was a good choice. The only problem was that the woods were so vast. How was it possible for me to ever find him here?

I looked for tracks. I looked for blood, broken branches, loose fur. It would be impossible for me to search every mile of the endless trees if I was going to find him in time. It would have been better if I looked in specific places, instead of this endless searching. But what could be a significant place for him to go to?

Then maybe, could he have gone to a place before all this had happen? A place where he felt safe.

Could he have gone home?

-James

Running. Where? I had no idea where I was going. It was easy to fall into the rhythm of running. My back leg, though it couldn't bend, was able to hold weight as I swung it clumsily behind me. I had three other good legs to run with anyway.

I ran forever - out of the city, through the trees, across roads. I was going in one random direction and never stopping. I wasn't even aware when morning came, when the darkness slowly turned to light. I was so exhausted that I couldn't even tell if it was snow beneath me or asphalt.

Years had gone by, lifetimes. My past life was completely forgotten, only myself and this tiredness remained. I collapsed and fell asleep.

When I woke up I was on my back, lying on upholstery. I laid still for awhile, not wanting to move. The smooth fabric on my back felt good. I bolted up when I couldn't remember where I was. My head hit the ceiling of a car. I cursed, for even though I only hit my head, I felt like my whole body hurt. Oh that's right. It did.

Where was I?

The car light was still on for the door was left open. The other door had its window taped up with duck tape and as I stared at it for a moment, it started to become familiar. I tried to scramble out of the car, but I wound up just falling out. Pushing myself up, I ran to the hood of the car.

I knew this car.

I climbed into the driver's seat and sat there for a while. Sitting on the passenger's seat was my sweatshirt. I picked it up, an image of Anna, soaking wet and wearing my sweatshirt, flashed through my mind. I pressed it against my face, finding some comfort with the soft material hiding me from the world. There was something heavy in the pocket and I took it out.

Anna's gun. Roses were delicately carved into the handle of the pistol. It was cold in my hands as I turned it over. I cocked it absently, looking down at the barrel. I knew if I shot it, I'd probably be fine, but I thought maybe it could knock me out for a couple more hours. I pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. The gun was empty.

I put the gun back into the sweatshirt and held them tight as I sat back in the seat. I let out a shuddering breath and closed my eyes. Anna was gone.

Later, I went through the car and found some extra clothes. Putting pants on was a bitch. It took me twenty minute to get my messed-up leg in them. The wound still had the little piece of blanket stuck to it that Anna had tied. Peeling it off gave me stars, and whenever anything brushed up a against the wound, I'd curse like hell.

My leg hurt too much to drive, so I left the car, the sweatshirt on, Anna's gun tucked in my pocket. This wasn't where I thought we had left the car. Anna must have driven it, for I was soon on the road, close to the town I knew so well. I limped my way through it. If anyone recognized me, I didn't hear any greetings. I just kept forward, not even aware where I was taking myself to. I felt like I hadn't been here in ten years, when in reality, it had only been a few months.

I found myself outside Matt's house.

Matt. Who was Matt? It was scary that I couldn't remember. I knew that I should remember, but the information wasn't there.

I didn't ring the doorbell. I just fell against the door and blacked out.

***

"He needs to be taken to the hospital!"

"But we can't do that! He's a wanted man! We don't even know what he's done. We might as well take him to prison if we take him to the hospital!"

Jack and Dave, arguing.

I moved my head a little. It was resting against a pillow. A pillow had never been so soft.

"Hey guys! He's awake! He's not dead!" Zeal.

I heard someone walk closer to me. I could feel their shadow over my face. "James? Are you okay, man?" I opened my eyes, sure that I'd find Dave looking down at me, but it wasn't him.

"Matt?" I croaked. My voice was raw, and my throat burned. Who I thought was Zeal, Joey, scrambled to kneel next to the bed I laid on.

And Jack-Sam came up tiredly behind Matt, giving me a worried look. The blanket on my chest rose up and down rapidly.

My friends, from a lifetime ago. I sat up.

"Whoa, take it easy," Matt said, trying to push me back down. I ripped the blanket off. I felt like I was burning up inside. I was stripped to my boxers. My knee was wrapped in a tight white bandage. I looked at the palm of my hand. The piercing was gone. Only a pink scar, shaped like a cross, sat in my palm.

"W-w-where is it?! The cross-the-the cross!" I looked around wildly, trying to figure out where all my things were.

"James-!" I rolled off the bed, landing hard on the wood floor. Hands were everywhere, trying to help me up and back onto the bed, but I lashed out and screamed at them. They backed away, staring at me in surprise.

I pushed myself up. "I'm fine," I growled between clenched teeth. "Where are my clothes?!" Maybe the piercing would be with them.

Joey wordlessly pointed to a chair in the room which sat my clothes. I limped over there and picked up my sweatshirt. The gun made a thunk as it hit the ground and I winced, bending down to try to pick it up. I had to stretch out my injured leg like some kind of retarded giraffe to reach it. I picked up my pants, but I didn't see the piercing fly to the floor as the gun did. I checked the pockets. It wasn't there. "Where is it!?"

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked calmly.

"It was a piece of jewelry, a piercing."

"You mean this?" Joe held it up, holding it by its black stone. "What did you do to get it stuck in your hand?"

"Give me that!" I meant to grab it out of his hand, but stopped myself. If they saw a simple object burn through my hand, they'd be even more annoyingly curious. I held the sweatshirt out. "Drop it onto here." He did so without question, thankfully. I put the sweatshirt, gun, and piercing back on the chair and took my pants to the bed. With a heave, I swung my stiff leg onto the bed, and attempted to put my jeans back on. "You know how long it took me to get these on before?" I muttered, though I was grateful for the new padding on my knee.

"James," Matt started, in his ever-patient voice. "What happened? What happened to that girl?"

I paused in what I was doing, but I didn't look at him. I didn't even answer. I brought my leg down, and sat on the bed, bending my good knee up high so I could get it into the jeans. Once that was done, I stood up, hoisting them over my hips. "Got any beer, Matt?"

"I don't think you should be drinking."

I ignored him and left the room, finding Matt's kitchen with ease. I'd been here so often, I knew the place like the back of my hand. I opened the fridge and looked inside. There was four cans in the door. I sighed. I'd been hoping for more. That would be like taking four sips. I took one out and gulped the whole thing down.

"James." Matt frowned at me, watching me from the entryway. "You don't have to tell us what happened if you don't want to, but we have to know if the police are still after you. We have to know if you need to be hidden or something. You can stay here for a while if you like. It's okay. But we have to know at least a little bit of what's going on. Is someone else after you? That girl said that there might be some guy that might want to hurt you or something."

I stood in front of the refrigerator for a long moment. "Eric?" The name sounded like a curse, but I didn't mean it to come out that way.

"Yeah, maybe that was his name."

"You don't have to worry about him," I said, grabbing another can. "You think about going to the store? You're running out of beer." I took the last two cans before limping back into the bedroom.

I didn't say anything else, and they didn't ask. Maybe they knew that there was too much to explain. Or maybe they just didn't care enough to push it.

It didn't matter. I wasn't going to hang around.

Chapter 59



To Break Your Heart



–Anna

I was weightless, floating in endless whiteness. It was bright and I had trouble opening my eyes. My head hurt, and I realized that there was something hard against it and at my back. Something was floating around me. For a terrifying second I thought I was floating in blood, and I forced my eyes open.

I was blinded by white. My arms were heavy, but I lifted them up to try to look at them. They were wet, but clean, not covered in blood.

I was wearing a strange silk robe that I had never seen before. It looked like it might have been white at one point, but right now it was stained pink. I put my arms back down into the water, and tried to push myself up, but the water in my hair weighed me down, and my only reward for my trouble was a sudden headache.

"Shh," a low voice murmured, the water sloshing around me. "Hold still." A damp cloth brushed gently across my face. I turned my head a little and I saw Eric's golden eyes staring down tenderly at me. "How peculiar, you don't even have a scar." My blood froze as I tried to think of what was going on. Why was Eric here? Where was I?

Where was James?!

I tried to scramble up, my hands clawing at the ceramic walls around me. I was able to get up for half a second before slipping and splashing back down. It appeared that I was in a bathtub in inch-deep water.

"Shh, shh! Calm down, Anna!" I pushed myself up into a sitting position. Eric took my face in his hands, and looked into my eyes. I was trembling. "You're alright now. You're safe." He brushed back my wet hair from my face. "You should eat something. You've lost a lot of blood." He reached over to a wine glass that was sitting on a tray, which sat next to a bloody towel and a bloody knife - a knife that looked suspiciously like mine. "Here, drink this. Don't be stubborn, Anna." I hadn't even said anything, but as I took the glass from him, I saw his wrist dripping with his own blood. I sipped it, and it didn't taste as bad as I thought it would, though it was still cold.

I stared at the pink-stained sleeves that fell over the tops of my hands. I narrowed my eyes. "Where are my clothes, Eric?"

Eric swallowed and dropped his eyes. "They're torn up and covered in blood. I'm sure you don't want them anymore."

I decided to let it go, even if Eric had indeed undressed me and washed me in his tub, it didn't matter. At least he had the courtesy to put a robe on me. I was thinking of another matter.

James. He had attacked me. I didn't know how long ago it was and I had no idea where he could be now. I was panicking on the inside, but kept myself cool on the outside. I wasn't sure how well I could trust Eric, and I needed to proceed with caution if I wanted to get out of this mess.

"Eric," I said, keeping my voice calm. "Where is James?"

Eric took a deep breath. "He's gone."

My heart stopped. Gone? As in dead? "Where did he go?"

"I don't know. He's killed Damien. He's run off, Anna." Okay. This was good. He was still alive. Damien would even be off our backs now. I just had to find James before he did something stupid.

I started to get up. "Wait. Don't move yet." Eric's cold hands on my face were surprisingly gentle, and his voice came out in whispered breaths. "Now that Damien is dead, the vampires are in an uproar. There's no one to lead them. It's not safe for us to go out there. We will leave as soon as it's safe."

I felt my breath quicken as I tried to think of a way to get out of this. I had to escape from Eric. He would only be in the way in my search for James. I understood what he wanted, and James wasn't part of his plan. "I need to find something to wear," I said, pushing myself out of the bathtub despite Eric's gentle hands. Dripping water on the tiled floor, I pushed myself to the door. It opened to Eric's bedroom. I'd never been in here before and I looked around to get my bearings. The room was dark, the bed surprisingly unmade, but there wasn't much on it to begin with. Some sheets were shoved between the bed and the bedstand and one pillow lay on top. I found his closet and pulled it open, looking for something to wear.

"Anna," Eric said as he came up behind me. I took out one of his long coats. I just needed to look somewhat decent before I went out in public to look for James. "What are you doing?"

I went back to the bathroom, not answering him. I found my knife before sitting on the hard ground, close to the wall. I stretched out the material, using the wall and my foot, before stabbing it in the back of the coat.

Eric crossed his arms. "Anna, that's my coat." He sighed. "Never mind. What exactly are you planning on doing?"

"Finding James," I said simply. I needed the hole to be pretty big if I wanted my wings to fit through it.

"Anna, he's gone. You're not going to find him." I turned around and gave him a look that clearly showed that I didn't care. "He's unstable. He's probably dead right now."

"That's why I have to find him before that happens."

"He's going to die no matter what the hell you do!" I turned away from him, untying the wet robe to put on the coat. Through the mirror I saw Eric turn around, a slight blush spreading across his cheeks and neck. I thought for sure he'd watch me. It was nothing he hadn't just seen. I put the coat on, though it was way too big for me, fitted for a man, and the gaping hole in it seem to make it even bigger. I had hoped my hair would cover it. "He's going to die, Anna." I tied the coat around me as tight as I could and walked past Eric.

Eric shook his head. "He's going to break your heart. What will you do when he's gone?" The tremor in his voice almost made me hesitate. "I know what happens when mortals die, Anna. You want to die with them, but you can't."

I looked at Eric's face for a moment. He had lost somebody, hadn't he?

"Eric. I'm sorry, but I don't know what you want me to do."

"Stay . . . please . . ."

I shook my head, tears threaten my own eyes. "But Eric, I can't do that!"

"Anna, stop being stupid! Of course you can! Where else could you possibly go?!"

"I-I have to find James." I stumbled back to the door. Just leave. That's all I had to do. Maybe I could find James's tracks in the snow. I reached out to grab the doorknob to leave his room, but the door was locked. Looking closely at the doorknob, I noticed that the knob had been crushed with inhuman strength, and the dial to unlock the door was impossible to turn. I stiffened my body and said very firmly, "Eric, let me out." He didn't answer. I felt my fingers tighten around my knife before I whipped around to face him. "Eric!"

"But Anna, I can't do that," he said calmly, repeating my words back to me.

I screamed at him, but instead of sinking my knife into his body, I sank it into the wood of the door. It only went in an inch deep and the effort made my arm go numb. I was sick and tired of being so weak all the time. Anyone else I knew could probably rip this door off its hinges. I pulled the knife out with some difficulty before striking the door again and again.

Eric took a deep breath. "Stop that now, it's not going to open the door for you. You're only going to tire yourself out." I ignored him. "Hey. Please listen to me." He placed his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. "Diana, please!"

I froze. At first I thought he was telling me to die, but then I realized he had just simply gotten my name wrong. I turned to face him. He closed his eyes and winced. "Anna, please."

"Who's Diana?!"

"No one. Just please don't do this to me."

"She was your lover, wasn't she? I bet she died, right? She died, Eric!"

"STOP IT!" Eric hands reached out as if he would strangle me, but he stopped himself. "Silent, just be silent."

"Eric," I took his outstretched hand into mine. "Who was Diana?"

Eric looked away from me, his face trying to smile, trying to stay composed. "My wife." He turned his gaze on mine and smiled. "My wife," he breathed again. He placed his hand tenderly against my cheek and gently stroked it. "Diana Newbury."

I sucked in my breath and almost pulled away.

My name.

"Do you want to hear a story, Miss Anna Newbury?"

I didn't answer. I just stared at him in shock. His wife was related to me?!

"I wasn't always a wealthy man. My family owned a cotton mill for generations, hence the name Miller. Diana didn't care, though. She ran away from her privileged family to marry me. We were going to start our own family, but my family wanted a better life for me, and thought I'd get a better chance if I joined the British Navy. Apparently they had planned this for me my whole life without my knowing. They thought I was too young to get married, but not too young to die, I guess." He shook his head, laughing bitterly. "Diana lived with them while I went off to fight Napoleon's men. I was attacked by a French vampire during the chaos and managed to fight back. He had disarmed me, and the one thing I could do was bite back before a comrade decapitated him and dragged me away." Eric gave another humorless laugh.

"They thought I was sick with some epidemic, so they threw me out of the navy. I had to get home by myself, and during that long trek, I realized something was wrong with me. The French vampire had followed me to finish me off, but when he saw what had accidentally happened, he told me what to expect of my immortal life. He asked me to join him, for he was lonely, but I said I had to get back to my wife. He laughed at me before running off.

"I found my way back home and woke up Diana before my parents. I was afraid she wouldn't love me anymore if she found out what happened, but she only clung to me. I didn't realized before I left that she was pregnant, and she kept telling me as long as I was alive she'd be okay. We'd run to America where no one would know us. I could turn her into a vampire after the child was born and then we'd be together forever."

Eric's eyes were distant as he trailed off the sentence. "That's what she said. Forever."

"Eric?" My stomach felt sick. He still had his hand on my face, the other on my shoulder. My heart went out to Eric, but in the back of my mind I knew the clock was ticking. I had to find James before it was too late. My gaze went to the window. I wondered if I could open it in time to escape. Eric looked at me. But then I realized there was something I wanted to know. Something I wanted to know how to do. "Why didn't you turn Diana into a vampire?"

Eric backed away from me and turned his gaze somewhere else. "We wanted to wait until after the child, but she was so sick all the time. As long as I'd known her, she always had been. Her frame was so thin and her skin so pale, she looked just as much as a vampire as I. When the doctor said, she wouldn't make it, I tried before the birth; sacrificing our child for her and . . ."

"Eric?"

"It didn't work."

"But-"

"I killed them both. Do you understand why I do these cruel things to you? I'm a very selfish man." He stared at me. "You look exactly like her," he breathed. "When I met that vampire who attacked your family, and he mentioned the name 'Newbury' I just had to come. All their faces reminded me of Diana. I couldn't look at them, so I was glad when the others destroyed them. But when I saw you, you were too much like her. Your dark hair, your large eyes, the cheekbones in your face, and without thinking, I. . . . I'm so sorry Anna . . ."

"Eric, tell me how you were able to turn me into a vampire if you couldn't do it before."

Eric only shook his head. "You just don't get it, Anna."

"Please, you have to tell me! You and me are alike." It was more true than I'd like to admit. "You loved Diana more than anything. You were willing to give up you own child for her. Please, I need to save James."

"You'd turn him into a vampire just so you wouldn't be alone? What if he didn't want to live this life? Who would want to live this life?"

"But what about Diana?"

"What about you? Are you happy with what I've done to you."

No.

"And James is a werewolf. How is that even possible?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I sobbed. "I can't-I can't let him-I need to–"

"Anna, Anna." He took my hands, for I was starting to thrash them about. "You can. You can stay with me. Please. I won't leave you. James can only. He always runs away and you won't be able to find him again, but I'll stay with you. Please stay with me. I don't have anything else to live for. Damien, Angela, Martin, they're all dead. I can't be alone anymore."

I used to hate Eric. He used to be the sole cause of every problem I had, but not anymore. I didn't hate him anymore.

But still . . .

"I can't, Eric," It wasn't enough for me to save him. I couldn't choose him over James. "I'm sorry, Eric." His face was blank as he looked down at me. I brought my hands to his head and pulled it down so I could kiss his cold lips. A single tear ran down his still blank face. "Goodbye."

I went over to the window and opened it. He didn't stop me, but sank to his knees. I concentrated on extending my wings before I leapt out.

I was selfish, too.

deviantID

Lovely-Mistaken
Jacqueline Michelle Goertz
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
I really love fantasy and have a few obsessions with anime and video games. The only thing I love more and have since I can remember are horses. Horses make everything better. But sadly I can't afford one so I make art and live in my fantasy world.

Current Residence: My Bed; My Room
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Um...Small?
Print preference: color is nice.
Favourite genre of music: Rock
Favourite photographer: Kalla Elizabeth B.
Favourite style of art: The pretty kind
Operating System: Mac
MP3 player of choice: the one I keep throwing
Shell of choice: Purple ones
Wallpaper of choice: Is Zelda on it?
Skin of choice: Mine is pretty good
Favourite cartoon character: Edward Elric… maybe?
Personal Quote: I'm invinciable until proven otherwise
Interests
  • Listening to: "Shout" The Who
  • Reading: The Count of Monti Cristo
  • Watching: Narcos
  • Playing: The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess
  • Eating: Off brand rice cripsies
  • Drinking: Margareta beer
So I found the video I had originally made with the water bottles pictures on a blog I had the same year.

jackiegoertz.blogspot.com/2010…

Pretty dumb...

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:iconprismblack91:
Prismblack91 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
happy birthday
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:iconlovely-mistaken:
Lovely-Mistaken Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thank you! I haven't been on so I didn't have a chance to thank you for the birthday wish. That was more than I got from some of my close friends.
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:iconprismblack91:
Prismblack91 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
ok then dood
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:iconequinoxknight01:
EquinoxKnight01 Featured By Owner May 11, 2015
It really is a shame that no one is commenting on your thoughtful work. If you can put the effort into posting something from your creative mind, others should reciprocate.

Starting now...
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:iconmatsuoayumi89:
matsuoayumi89 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank U for the :+devwatch:
:squee::kiss::love::glomp:
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:iconlovely-mistaken:
Lovely-Mistaken Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Professional General Artist
Oh you're welcome! I really like your Doujinshi.
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:iconlovely-mistaken:
Lovely-Mistaken Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Professional General Artist
To anyone that might accidently look over here to this small part of this page...WHAT IS A LAMA BADGE?!
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:iconlovely-mistaken:
Lovely-Mistaken Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2011  Professional General Artist
AHh! Stupid Deviant art can't handling my work load! apperently a 30 page chapter is too much for it. But when I cut it in half it freaks out before I even do anything!
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:iconfairytalewonders:
fairytalewonders Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009  Student General Artist
This is Jessie from class just so you know!
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:iconlovely-mistaken:
Lovely-Mistaken Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2009  Professional General Artist
Jessie! I was looking for you earlier on this site, but I must not have gotten your name right
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