Help Me: Epilogue

Epilogue

–Anna

I had screamed and screamed, yelling at no one but the sky. My voice echoed, bouncing off the walls of the canyon. The gun that Eric had used was in my hand, pointed upward as if I could kill God himself. I shot the gun a couple of times uselessly.

I was useless. I could never do anything.

But then again, I did kill Eric, the immortal vampire. I had done what I originally wanted, but now I felt empty. If I had kept Eric alive.

No. I couldn't have looked at him again after what he had done to James. Besides, Eric had wanted to die. I wouldn't have been able to live with him.

But another idea occurred to me. If I could kill Eric. . .  I pressed the barrel of the gun against my temple and pulled the trigger.

Of course it didn't work. After a few moments of blissful unawareness, I woke to a throbbing headache.

I went back home. I couldn't take the bodies with me, so I had to leave them there. I couldn't look at them, anyway.

My old home didn't look familiar at all. I almost thought I had come to the wrong place, but the address on the old mailbox was mine. If I glazed over my eyes, I could almost see my childhood home.

I went to the shed, and like I thought there might be, a tank of gasoline sat on the dirty floor. I found a pack of matches and went into the house.

It was cold here. It was cold everywhere. The fire would warm everything up. I went up the stairs and into my room, kicking up clouds of dust and closing the door behind me. This was my home, with no one else.

I dumped the gasoline all around the room, pouring the rest of it over my head. I opened the window. There was a small breeze in the branches of the trees. Hopefully the wind would blow the ashes away.

I didn't want to survive this.

I lit a match and watched the tiny flame burn. Such a small flame. It could easily be blown out. It reminded me of James. This James wasn't going to blow out, though. Not unless he was taking me with him.

I dropped the match.

***

I opened my eyes. "No. NO!" I bolted up from the bed I was lying on.

"Good heavens, Anna! Calm down!" I stared incredulously at Alice, who was sitting right beside me with her knitting spread over her lap. "Good thing we got to you in time. The whole house almost burned down!"

"Where-where am I?"

"You're at my house. Charlie's dealing with the firemen right now."

"No!" I screamed at her, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "Why did you save me!?" My skin was a little pink, but even that was fading away. Things never left a scar on me.

I got up. I had to leave before Alice keeled over on me, too. She was old. It could happen any second. Without saying goodbye, I pushed past her and hurried into the narrow hallway.

"Anna?" I stopped. The voice was familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. "Are you okay?"

I turned around to see little Amy, holding her real dog by the collar in one hand, and her stuffed one in the other. "I was really worried. So was James." The dog barked as though in agreement, but I think it was more from being held at the collar and wanting to be free. He had gotten bigger since the last time I saw him.

Amy smiled. "I knew we'd see each other again." She was such a strange child. I still couldn't say anything. I was looking at her eyes that were so much like James's. "I think it's because I like you so much. You're one of my favorites."

This was James's daughter.

I ran up to her and collapsed to my knees, wrapping my arms around her. Amy let go of the dog, who jumped back in alarm.

James lived inside this little girl. I cried in her red-brown hair, running my fingers through it frantically.

Maybe I could keep going. Even if this little girl would someday die, maybe she'd have children for me to wrap my arms around.

I wanted to live for Amy.

I decided to stay in my big house. My room was ruined, but the house was big enough for me to manage without it. Alice's and Charlie's home was too small for all of us to live comfortably, anyway. They would frequently visit me, though. It was only about five minutes away. I started to get used to their almost-constant company, and look forward to it. Maybe James had changed something in me, but I didn't hate people as much as I used to.

Charlie came with me to look for the bodies. If we found them, I wanted to bury them in a quiet place right next to the property, hidden by trees. Charlie warned me that the chances of them still being there were slim. Any large animal may have gotten into them. I didn't care.

It so happened that Charlie was right. About James, anyway. Eric's body was torn apart, but James' was missing all together. Eric's body had been dead for so long, I guess whatever animal that was here preferred James. It was probably some bear, or maybe a wolf. The irony wasn't lost on me.

I was extremely angry. I wanted to find this creature and shoot it, but Charlie talked me out of it. We didn't need a body to make a grave.

I cried a lot. I spent most of those days feeling sorry for myself. I tried to keep my face dry for Amy, but sometimes I would break down in front of her. She was more understanding than you would expect a six-year-old to be. She would simply hug me and say nothing. I don't think she was ever told why I was so sad. I would tell her eventually when she was old enough. She was going to have to find out I was vampire someday.

The pack moved to their old home when they heard that the threat of vampires were gone. I was amazed that they figured out where I was staying, though I probably shouldn't have been. Werewolves are very good trackers, and I found Dave and Jena at my door one day. Alice was the one that had to tell them about James as I had gone back to my new room to hide, which was smaller than my old one but brighter, more comforting.

Jena told me that the whole pack cried, even Jack. I didn't believe her - I had never seen any of them ever cry before - but she insisted that they did. It was Jena that forced me out of my house to have a good time for once.

I did try. I swear I did. I even laughed a couple of times. Jena tried to flirt with men, and though she was bad at it, it made Dave go into a frenzy. They were all the same, if a little less chaotic. The news of James's death made everyone move a bit slower, and talk a little quieter.

The snow melted into spring. Every day I'd go visit the two graves that sat at the edge of my property. A little farther up the path were the graves of my family. Alice had set it up years ago and I had never known. Sometimes I'd go see them, and I was always alarmed at how little I remembered who they were. I wondered if someday I'd forget James.

But that would never happen. Not when I had Amy.

Most of time I would visit James and Eric. I always brought a black rose for Eric. I thought he'd get a kick out of it. Sometimes I would ask him questions and think about his weird habits. I started to understand what Eric had meant and why he did the things he did. I thought I did before, but it was so clear to me now that he was gone. I didn't have this stress over marrying him, and I could think clearer. I guess Eric wasn't all that bad. A bastard, but not that bad.

James would get a red rose. James's color. Every time I saw the color red, it reminded me of James, and I told him so. I talked to James the most.

Maybe I'd take Amy here some day. She could finally meet her real father again. Sometimes she'd talk about Eric, so I assumed she missed him a little, too. She'd probably like to see him.

I looked up when I heard a twig snap. "Alice? Or is it that you, Charlie?" No one answered me, which I found weird. My hand went to my gun, which out of habit, I still carried around with me. A gun will always be my safety blanket. Even if it never worked on the undead.

I thought I saw a flash of russet between the green leaves. First I thought it might be Amy, but it was much too big.

Than I realized what it was. Of course it was some animal. I was in the woods, after all. Whatever it was, it seemed to be limping.

Great. Just what I needed. A hurt animal around the property while Amy was around. It probably had rabies. I had my gun at the ready, peering around to see if I might catch another glimpse of it.

I heard a low growl and turned my head to the noise. I could just barely see a pair of eyes looking at me through the shadows. A wolf. It had to be.

I didn't want to kill it. I didn't want to kill anything, really, but especially not a wolf. I raised the gun up into the air and shot up into the sky. "GET AWAY! COME ON! GET AWAY FROM HERE!"

It winced and yelped, but it didn't leave. This should have only confirmed that there was something wrong with the animal. Only an animal that was sick wouldn't have run away, and the sick ones were always more dangerous.

But that wasn't what first crossed my mind when I looked into the glowing eyes of the wolf. I was being foolish, I knew, but I was still thinking about something else entirely. I didn't know why I uttered the word, but I did. All reason went against it. If I was thinking at all, I would have gone back to the house and called animal control, but instead I stayed there and spoke that word.

"James?"